Inktober! Am I doing it right…?

@inktober am I doing it right? #inktober #inktober2017 #inktoberdiscourse #sarcasm #inkstone

A post shared by Angie (@angelacydee) on

The internet blessed me with revealing that there is a “discourse” about how there is a “correct way” to participating in Inktober, a popular drawing challenge that asks that you draw one thing a day for the month of October in ink.

Cartoonist and illustrator Jake Parker created the month to challenge himself and improve his inking skills as a cartoonist. People saw him, thought it was a great idea, and decided to try it themselves and the project exploded.

And that’s awesome!

He did it for himself, and people wanted to join in on the fun. Simply put, I think that means that people can participate however they want/however they can.

Madeleine Flores -another wonderful cartoonist- once suggested drawing in ink to me just as a way to gain confidence. Once you put a line down you can’t erase it. You can either work from it or just start over again. Good art is made by drawing over and over again, and this message refuses to get into my brain. 

I’m stuck with the romatic idea of “waiting for my inspiration” which baaaasically just translates to “until I’m in the mood”.

All the artists I respect say over and over that sustainable drawing doesn’t wait for inspiration. Inspiration comes to those who work for it.

I haven’t drawn much of anything in quite a while. I’ve been in a state of mind where I’m convinced nothing I draw is for myself, and I’m questioning why I even want to draw in the first place. I’m motivated by “how can I possibly make this sell-able?” “How can I make this reach people??”.

I’ve been on the internet since 2001 and started posting things online in 2003, when I was finally old enough to join DeviantArt. The idea of people telling me “I drew good” from all over the world????? I was into that.

Except I had no idea how tags worked aka HOW PEOPLE COULD ACTUALLY FIND MY STUFF. And none of my work got much attention. This got to me pretty bad.

IT’S DUMB, I KNOW “waaahhh no one is looking at my stuff I’m so saaaaaad”, but I can’t help it. It’s just in me and I can’t do a whole lot about it.

Throughout all this time I’ve had… a few things get “big” on my sphere of the internet. Somewhere along my journey I devloped a ridiculous, arbitrary set of rules that I HAVE TO FOLLOW for my drawings to be “acceptable”. It’s… been stopping me a lot. To the point where I don’t even know what I enjoy drawing anymore.

I wanna draw during Inktober while avoiding the internet so that I can just have time to think for myself. The internet is not being very good to my brain right now. I’ll post, but I’m going to try-dear god will I try- not looking at other people’s art. I’m too easily influenced…

It sucks.

An very… not solid ending to this blog, but that’s kinda how I’m feeling right now…

That’s all for now, I suppose. Talk to you later!

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